Originally Posted by private dancer by stephen leather

They can be very creative when it comes to getting their own back, too. The big thing here
with unfaithful husbands, is for the wives to get a bit handy with the old kitchen knife. The
unkindest cut of all. But they don't do it in anger, they wait, they wait until the husband thinks
he's gotten away with it, then slash! Blood on the sheets and the guy has to use a pair of tweezers
to piss. It happens so often in Bangkok that the hospitals here have got really proficient at sewing
dicks back on. Micro-surgery, they call it, they reconnect all the vessels and nerves and stuff and
apart from a ridge of scar tissue around the base of the thing it's as good as new. The doctors are
now so good that, providing the dick is wrapped up in a pack of frozen peas or suchlike, there is
more than ninety per cent chance of repairing the damage.
Now, once the wives realised that the doctors could sew the dick back on, they started to
dispose of the organs. Up country, they throw it to the ducks. The birds fight like fuck for them,
apparently, must be a delicacy. Or maybe there's a revenge element, too, a chance for the ducks
to eat humans for a change. Anyway, there aren't too many ducks in Bangkok, so the wives there
started throwing them in the street. If a truck rolls over it, a cut off dick can be squashed flat until
it's the size of a saucer. No bloody use to anyone, that. Or there's another variation - putting it in
the blender. Thirty seconds at high speed and there isn't much left. Prick puree.
There was a great one in the Bangkok Post a while back. A woman in Khorat had found that
her husband had a second wife. That's what they call mistresses here, mia noy, second wife.
They're not married or anything, and it's usually only a temporary thing, but the whole Thai
marriage thing is a mystery anyway. So this woman waits for a couple of months until her
husband has a dose of the 'flu, and she gives him a couple of tablets before he goes to bed, telling
Stephen Leather Private Dancer
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him that they're for his headache. Well, they're not, they're sleeping tablets, and he wakes up
with a pain in his groin and blood all over the place. He goes apeshit, searching high and low for
the bit she'd cut off, but she just keeps screaming at him that it serves him right. He checks the
fridge, the back yard, the toilet, but there's no sign of it. He begs her to tell him what she did with
it. She goes out into the garden and points up at the sky. Seems she'd tied it to a helium-filled
balloon and let it go. Brilliant, huh? Guy's still with his wife, you know. Didn't press charges. I
guess he realised that with a one-inch dick, he's not going to be able to get himself another
woman. She probably makes him satisfy her with his tongue. See, that's what I mean about the
Thais and revenge. They have a knack for it. Pete better watch his step.