This original post is about Obdurate's submitted work. This thread, however, can also serve as a discussion thread on later works by the same person/ other people.
Is this part of the book you said you were working on? I just remembered you saying something like that from long ago. Well, to throw my two cents in, i found it unique. The footnotes were like the story within a story. I like that. A lot. The sampling you shared with us kind of reminded me of a familiar essay...With Social Criticism. Anyway, I loved the first 2 pages of criticism/comments. I found it varied and comical at some points. Especially from the "kids on the internet." Anyway, the 3rd page was rather disturbing. Rather... it was very disturbing.

On the actual story. From my personal view, meaning "to me," it was as if the footnotes were the real story, and the actual "story" were the footnotes. Switch the roles, and thats how it was for me. The final "footnote" was awesome. My favorite quote:

"There are other people who aren’t actually the leaders of anything but want to be, like Dr. Phil, who preaches his word as gospel and once someone tries to “fight back,” he/she is dismissed almost instantly or just told he/she is wrong, simple and plain."

Loved it. The final footnote, however, i didn't link to the "story." The final footnote to me was like "the point" and the "most important part" of the sample. It was the reason why you wrote. That's all i can say when i try to explain it in words. I'm sorry if this was not what you were trying to communicate, but that's how i interpreted. Maybe I'm deaf.

If you ever plan to release a sample again, put it on the PTF share; I'd be glad to read it.
Since the older thread was locked, people who didnt get a chance to read and comment could do so here. As long as we don't resort to profanity. We can criticize w/out profanity...right?

Good idea.

To Obdurate: Sorry about all the things I said in the other post.
Also, Obdurate, if you would like to explain what it all means, I'd be more than glad to listen.

For all of you that haven't/won't see that post, here's Obdurate's story [All credits to Obdurate]:

Great idea. Yes, let's try to give constructive criticism, but without going over the edge.

I'll stick this so it won't be forgotten for future submissions.

AJ

Geez, thanks people. I didn't really expect THIS.
Wolf, it's fine you didn't like it. I don't expect everybody to. We could go on and on about what happened but yes, I know that you read different kind of stuff. That's fine, that's just not what I'm aiming for. Maybe the second book will be more simplistic, I don't know, like I said in the thread, I only write to bleed. I do want your criticisms, though. Just know that I did write it the way I wrote it because of the kind of criticisms you gave me. I knew that was coming.

I was really waiting for you, Joad, to reply so I'm glad you made this thread. I was disappointed when it got closed cuz I knew you would discuss it and I knew Brandon wanted to read it (even harassed me for it , just kidding).

So I guess a lil explanation/reply to Joad...

What you said about the footnotes was amazing.
The page with the penis (how many guys do you know think that their dicks make them men, so why not put a giant penis on a page to parody/satirize that?) had the names of the footnote people. The order that the names are in is the order that the people read the book.
It's a book that's been passed down by person to person in some way, even if it isn't directly. As it is now, you don't know too much about the people but as it goes on, they get their own stories but I don't know if they're gonna connect or not. Just imagine a library book that you take out and you see that people have underlined passages that meant a lot to them, or passages that they could use in a thesis, etc. That's what I'm going for. That's why it looks sloppy with footnotes all over the place.
And the reasoning for this is because... how you relate to books is more important than the story, which brings me to this:

That theory holds grounds unless I'm misunderstanding what you're saying. There's the two levels of footnotes, the kind that's included in the "plot" and the people "reading." I hope that makes sense.

Haha, the reviews... I admit, it's random, and it loses its effect in the form of a document, but when it's as a book... just picture the reviews you always see at the beginning of books. I just wanted to parody that, and at the same time, kinda take the ammo away from critics. My book will get called pretentious, but I called it pretentious first. I mean... in that big long list of people who will be in awe of me, MY NAME is included, my GIRLFRIEND is included, my friends are... a goalie in the NHL is, etc.

God, this is a long winded post. But it shall go on!
The last footnote really is just an activist relating. That's why everything the person says has to do with some kind of problem in the world. That's all any of these footnotes are. By doing so I'm studying my own book but that doesn't mean I'm explaining it. Some of the theories presented will lead you in the right direction, some won't.

The book deals heavily with perception. What's real and what's not?
It's also me waxing philosophical over the town I live in, and genres (but the genre thing isn't clear yet).
It's war on books, it's war on my own book.

But yeah, Joad... I really liked what you said about it. I liked how you analyzed the last footnote and what you said.

I enjoyed when Wolf called it a "book." More right than he thought, really.

Sorry for being so selfish here.

Ah. I'm glad that a review from me was expected. I feel special. And I do understand you're explanation on the footnotes; in the penultimate paragraph referring to you're work, i only understood that the final paragraph was separate from the "plot." Thanks for clearing that up.

There was also something else i wanted to say, but right before i typed "Ah." i forgot what it was. Don't worry, i'll post that when i remember. Curses, i hate how that happens to me. I was really excited and wanted to type all this fast...

Haha, well I'll be waiting eagerly for it.