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Book book book book

This is a discussion on Book book book book within the Literature forums, part of the General Chat category; Yes, it's about that time again. Time to show you my new book I have going. Some ideas from ...

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  #1  
Old 08-11-08, 06:05 PM
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Default Book book book book

Yes, it's about that time again. Time to show you my new book I have going. Some ideas from the last beginning have been changed, some are kept in tact, some new ones are introduced. I think this is going to go well.


http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XEA0KJVM



And of course, I have to be overly critical/self-conscious and say that it's pretty rough and that there are things that are going to change or at least have the chance of changing (like names... the _____ character will eventually be a name, for example). And the part that starts with 4... I'm not really sure on yet. Also the way I handled the footnotes, though I guess you people can't really help with that since you don't know what they're actually for.

I'm just throwing this out there.
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Old 08-11-08, 07:15 PM
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Default Re: Book book book book

I like it. Don't think I saw the footnotes because I opened it with wordpad, that being all I have. Please finish this one
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Old 08-11-08, 07:17 PM
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Default Re: Book book book book

Well I'm glad you like what you've seen! Thanks for taking the time.

I'll try my best to finish it, haha.
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Old 08-11-08, 07:24 PM
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Default Re: Book book book book

I have an idea that once you pass a certain part of the book, once you draw yourself into it, you will finish it rather than scrapping it and rebeginning. If you keep working on this, editing but not trashing, this version might be the last, unless you have multiple books you are writing. I remember one beginning I tread started with a war-torn city and another started with a person trapped in a weird door-less room where these people got their thumbs cut off.

Oh, and I'll read this beginning tomorrow...no time right now.
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Last edited by Ich_Bin_Butler; 08-11-08 at 07:24 PM.
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Old 08-13-08, 01:13 AM
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Default Re: Book book book book

Yeah, I have cool ideas.

Did you read it yet?
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Old 08-13-08, 10:41 AM
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Default Re: Book book book book

No. I was going to, but it wasn't on the unread posts lists, so I forgot about it after a while. I'll DL it now.

Edit: Damn I need to download that megauploader first, though, don't I?
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Last edited by Ich_Bin_Butler; 08-13-08 at 10:43 AM.
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Old 08-13-08, 11:13 AM
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Default Re: Book book book book

No, just go to that link, put in the little code that should be in the right hand corner, then it'll tell you to wait a buncha seconds then something will come up to download. I wish I woulda waited to upload it cuz I got some ideas I'm adding but oh well, you'll see this.

And I knew you'd forget, that's why I replied
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Old 08-13-08, 12:17 PM
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Default Re: Book book book book

Alright I just downloaded it. I saw the download button there before but next to it it said enter ANN, and I thought that was an acronym for a code which I did not know. Apparently, it literally means to enter ANN. Now I feel silly.

First page is blank...then there's two phrases repeated three times over two pages...then there's an ad...

I'm not criticizing it, I'm just making sure it opened up right.

Alright, here's my edit to the post. I'll keep this up as I read the story. Firstly...

Quote:
Ethan got down on one knee and looked into the water more. Submerged was the dead body. Small scales ran up and down the body at random intervals. One of the creatures’ eyes was missing, but the other one was a frightening red. Its face was mangled, but amongst the multiple gashes and bruises, there was a tattoo that didn’t look familiar to me.
You changed the POV at the end of the paragraph. That should say him. Most of the things I want to point out you'd probably catch anyway in an edit, and you may not agree with my opinions about the flow, but I'll keep quoting what I think you aught to change, anyway.

Quote:
Glass broke upstairs and instantly Ethan ran towards the stairs and travelled up them.
Bleh. ran towards the stairs and traveled up them? No no. Doesn't ring right. How about...Ethan heard glass breaking upstairs and ran back up them? Just a little thing, but it distracts away from the story, which, by the way, is bitchin' so far.

Quote:
Ethan ran down the stairs, almost tripping due to his haste,
...almost tripping in his haste would sound better.

Quote:
blade smiths created great swords to do battle with
I like that one, how you have smiths making swords even though there are really advanced guns. Adds a touch of humor.

Quote:
“Surely you jest? Oh, you’re funny Frederick!”
I also like the mix of modern and old time language.

(Whoops, I accidentally saved the edit...well, carrying on...

Alright, done. It was pretty good. Keeps you in the dark as to what the hell is going on. One thing seems odd, though...I figured it would be sor tof an anti-government/authority book once I saw the first footnote with the Authority shooting people with futuristic guns. I assume that the victims were members of some sort of revolution. I could be wrong. So why are civilians allowed to have swords? Wouldn't that be a hindrance to the government?


I don't know. I like what you have so far, but I'm very confused about it.
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Last edited by Ich_Bin_Butler; 08-13-08 at 12:55 PM.
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Old 08-13-08, 12:26 PM
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Default Re: Book book book book

Yeah that's how it should be.
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Old 09-02-08, 07:03 PM
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Default Re: Book book book book

I'll have to find some time to read it

Quote:
First page is blank...then there's two phrases repeated three times over two pages...then there's an ad...

Sounding good, that
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