There is a lot of discussion on the Internet today about Helicopter Parenting. What is Helicopter Parenting? Do you know that set of parents that will not let their children do anything at all unless they are right next to them? You know, the children can not play in their own fenced in back yard by themselves because the parents fear they could get hurt or worse. The type of parent that calls their child’s school three times a day to make sure they ate well, or are feeling okay, some even become room moms or dads so they can be there all day to help their child. That is a Helicopter Parent.

Do you think overprotective parenting such as Helicopter Parenting is a good thing or a bad thing for children? Can Helicopter Parenting have negative affects on a child’s future, or does it affect it positively?

Growing up I constantly heard from my parents, “How are you ever going to learn if I do every thing for you?” Man did I hate that phrase. But it really did help me to not only learn, but grow. I discovered right from wrong by pushing boundaries a bit. My mom was also a huge proponent of “Choose your battles.” I loved that phrase. I learned from mistakes that I made. I got hurt when I was doing something I wasn’t supposed to. My parents always told me to stay off of our fireplace that had a rock lip to sit on in front of it. I never listened, that was the perfect place to play. I broke my arm falling off of the fireplace. Sure my parents were there for me, and they said I told you so, but they didn’t dote over me for my stupid mistake. They were definitely not Helicopter Parents.

Now that I have three children of my own, I have chosen to parent in some of the same ways. Times have changed since 30 years ago, so some adjustments have to be made, but I pretty much allow my children to live and learn from their own mistakes. I don’t tell them every single thing they can and can’t do. If they ask to do something that I believe to be a silly idea I’ll let them do it. I encourage their creative minds and do not force them to keep their imaginations inside a box. Sure they can’t play in the front yard if we aren’t out there, there are sickos out there after all, but they play in our backyard every afternoon. The only time I call the school is if they need me to. I volunteer for school functions, but would never do it just to keep an eye on my child.

This doesn’t mean I don’t understand how one can become a Helicopter Parent very easily. My children mean the world to me and I do want to keep them from coming to any harm. I would give anything if they didn’t have to feel pain. But at the same time I believe they need to feel some to understand that life is about choices. What I wouldn’t give to wrap my precious children up in bubble wrap forever, but really what good is that going to do them in the long run. I have to constantly remind myself of that, my first instinct many times is to do it for them, but I can’t.

What are you views?

wow no that is not good for a kid they have to be able to rely on themselves also

there is nothing wrong in monitoring our children more often. and not allowing them to play on their own. that should what parents do. but there are times that we go over board in protecting our children and that will be considered already helicopter parenting which i really don't agree on or favor. we just be on the middle of being to lenient and from doing helicopter parenting.

Right. It's good not to neglect them, but also not to limit them in protecting them. I, when I was really little, used to ride my bike around this little road that just looped around and maybe a car came every half hour. I fell off all the time and got cuts and such, and I was like five years old. I didn't really need to be monitored there, but I never did find myself seriously injured with no way of being helped.

What nodoubt was describing, to me, borders on obsession. Without being hurt every once in a while and learning through mistakes and experience, how will they handle real problems when their parents aren't around? I mean like, as teens or something.

This reminds me of the never ending debate of letting a young infant cry it out at night, or to go and tend to them as soon as they start crying. The baby knows that if it cries, it gets whatever it wants. That's why its advised not to sleep in the same bed as the baby, and even sometimes to just shut the door and let the baby cry it out.

Eventually the child learns that it can't get everything it wants from just crying, and goes right back to sleep.

I know... off topic, but that's what this discussion reminds me of.

personally i don't agree with helicopter parenting, it wasn't how i was raised... i have seen way to many of my friends that were raised with parents like that... and when they turned 18 BAM! they revolted, and went nuts... doing everything they were never allowed to do before. i just really think its a bad idea to be that over protective. you want your kids to talk to you, and let you know whats going on... you want your kids to come to you when something happens then give them some freedom, but with some standard rules...

my parents basically let me do whatever i want... as long as i told them were i was going and when i would be home. that way if they had to get ahold of me they could, and if i wasn't home when i said i would be then they could start worrying at this point.

me and my parents have a very close relationship, i'm 25 years old... and i talk to them about everything...

my friend however his mom was one of these "helicopter parents" and now he barely talks to her, he's 20 in the military and he will call me before he calls his own mom, when he comes home on leave, he stays at my house, and maybe goes to see his mom once or twice if that in a 15 to 30 day period... once he got out of her house, he just went crazy... alcohol, pills... i had to give him a reality check a few times... he's a good man... he just was so sheltered...

kids will tend to lie to their parents alot more if their parents are like this... the only lies i tell my parents are white ones to not hurt their feelings...

There's a good point. Once the child underneath helicopter parenting gets old enough to realize that he/she is being restricted and that their parents pretty much control their life, they are more likely to end up rebelling with drugs.

Parenting is one of those things that I both fear and anticipate. It's hard to tell what a kid will grow up to be. I don't really think there's a way to judge what a kid will grow up to appreciate or what the kid will grow up to do/be. If I show my kid obscure movies will he/she grow up to appreciate them or disown them because his/her dad likes them and it's not 'cool'? Will the kids who disown them come back and eventually like them?
It's hard to tell. Would I helicopter parent? No. But I also understand how protective a parent can get out of fear or love or what have you. My brothers aren't even my children but I fear for their lives.

Your rules may or may not mean anything to kids and I can't really make much of a statement otherwise, but perhaps that's the most realistic way to look at this.

Perhaps.